Catching Up With Quad

It’s been a while since the Quad has posted. So I thought I would try to catch you up on what’s been happening.

First things first: Helmet Head (formerly known as Swapping Key Man) has left the building. That’s right folks. The nemesis of Quad, the biggest pussy you have ever seen, the person who tried to break into Quad’s reign as the Wing King, the one who bitched like a little pussy so much I had to trade keys with him, one of the original “Fucked Up Four” who bonded together to try and bring Quad down no longer works with Quad. Yep. That’s right. I have outlasted every one of them mother fuckers. Kiss my ass, BEEE-YAATCH!!!!! Who the fuck is your daddy NOW, you taint licking queer?!?

There. I got that out of my system. Let’s move on.

Took the family (with in-laws and brother-in-law’s family in tow) to Disney for 9 days. Guess what? Don’t let the hype fool you. The happiest place on Earth? Bitch, Please. This is how fucked up Disney is: not only do they have you exit each ride into a gift shop so that your kids can raise hell about wanting something, thus setting you up because you are telling your kids no, which causes them to pitch a bitch in front of everyone, which adds to your parental stress because it’s hot as a mother fucker and you have skipped your kid’s naps for the sake of staying at the park, Disney makes you pay fifty cents for a damn ping pong ball at the hotel. Can you believe that shit? The one thing I did like was the fact that at the hotel you could pay 11.99 for a coffee/soda travel mug and for the entire week you could have unlimited coffee, soda, hot cocoa, etc. Man, was the Quad in coffee heaven or what? I did take surfing lessons while I was down there. I busted my ass. Repeatedly. And, like my sex life, I never did get up!!!! Hahahahahahahaha.

Went to Alabama over labor day weekend. Was able to attend the Alabama-Hawaii game. That was a blast. I went with two of my brothers and a nephew. The entire campus was turned into one big, happy, block-party. While we were standing around eating, this southern belle blonde walked past us and had on a shirt that said, “Have You Hugged A Southern Belle Today?” As she walked past, I said, “I haven’t!” to which she immediately responded with, “And you Won’t EITHER!” Bitch!!!

As you read on the Super Jiggy E blog, the brotherhood got together for a golf tournament a couple of Friday’s ago. Man, I have never had so much fun or laughed so damn hard as I did with Jake, E-Bone, and Hor-Hey. The highlight of the day was on the 14th hole when I couldn’t hold it any longer, so I took a shit in the woods. As I was holding onto a tree, squatting, Jake took Hor-Hey’s phone and tried to take a picture. Never did see it, either. But anyway, I covered the “pile” with my “paper” and left it to nature. Didn’t think much about it until I saw the course marshal go over there and start to pick up the “litter.” EWWWWWW!!!!

E-bone told a story about Tom, who also took a shit on the course one day. When he was done, however, he wiped himself with his golf towel, then left the towel on the “pile.” Now that’s fucked up and here’s why: someone later came along and saw the golf towel, and went to pick it up because they thought they had found themselves a golf towel!!!! EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Tonight on my way home from work, I went by Wilcox’s Bait and Tackle down on Jefferson to by some Waders. We are going to Nags Head, NC this weekend and will be doing some surf fishing. Anyway, the further down Jefferson you go toward downtown Newport news, the worse the neighborhood gets. But wilcox’s is about the only place open at 5 am when we are launching at the james river at 6!

Anyway, I noticed that the police had this woman who was walking “pulled” over. There was no doubt in my mind that she was a lady of the night. Well, I am sitting in my truck at Wilcox’s talking on the phone when I here someone call me. It was the girl who had been pulled over.

Girl: excuse me sir. Excuse me sir.
I looked at her.
Girl: can I get a ride?
Quad: no.
Girl: FUCK YOU! BITCH!
Quad: You wish you could you crack infested whore! You would never go back to those dogs you keep in your trailer!

She flips me off and keeps walking, and I am left wondering, “What did I do to deserve the finger?” hahahahahaha