Valentine's Day with Quad

So valentine’s day is here, and MQ is all awash in flowers. The mood around the office is generally good because we normally have to wear ties on Wednesday s, but we could pay $5 to wear jeans or dress down and the money would be donated to a local family violence center.

The Future is all set for his party at school, at the expense of five dozen cupcakes from the Quad. He gets so excited about holidays and the like.

Quad, on the other hand, is still in a state of disbelief. Let me explain.

MQ asked me last week what I wanted for Valentine’s day. I told her not to worry about it because she KNOWS what I want, if you know what I mean. So we tossed out some ideas.

MQ: do you want a round of golf?
Quad: not really. If I want to play golf I just pay for it. How about a membership to audible.com?
MQ: you haven’t listened to the audio books you got for Christmas yet. Why would I buy you a subscription to audible?
Quad: good point. I need to do that. how about a gift certificate to the book store? You know that I always have to have magazines available to read.

A few moments passed, and I had the grandest idea: a 7-11 coffee card. Before I could say it, MQ says, “how about a 7-11 coffee card?”

“I was just thinking that.” I said. “if you want, I can give you the one I already have and you can just reload it with about $25.” And the conversation ended there.

So I get home last night and The Future is excited as hell to see me because his grandparents (yes, my in-laws are now visiting again) had bought him a gift to give to me. He has to open it, of course, because that’s just what kids do. I bet I haven’t opened a present in two or three years, since he has figured out how to do it.

So he opens it and he gives me a can of Altoids with a heart shaped tin. All together now: awwwwwwwwww. He then grabs this other “gift.” It was flat, like a big envelope, so I’m thinking MQ took some of the pictures of me and The Future and had one of those calendars made that has a different picture for each month. Let me backtrack here and state that I really had my coffee drinking heart set on a new 7-11 coffee card. Simple? Yes. But it if you knew my addiction and love affair with coffee you would understand. It would be like giving a heroin addict a $25 dollar gift card to the local medical supply store so they could buy syringes. But his package was waaaaaaaaay too big for the 7-11 card, so I quickly reprogrammed my self to accept the calendar. Hell, before I even opened it, I was already thinking about where I could hang it in my office. Maybe right under the plackard that says “MEN.”

Finally it is opened, and I am stunned. MQ bought me, (are you ready for this?) a PAID, full year’s membership to Gold’s Gym! Can you believe that?

So now, there is no excuse for me NOT to get even bigger than I already am. 24” pythons? Bitch, please! I’m shooting for 30, but can live with 28. 625lb squat? Child’s play when I am done. 350lb bench 25 times? Toothpicks.

There you have it: the gifts of all gifts. I am supposed to call this guy named “Steve” to get my orientation. When I do, I plan to start next week. I will be documenting my “Years in the Gym” in a new blog, so I’ll keep you posted and will send out the link when I have it ready.