The Last Word

NOTE: this blog was actually written last Friday. I just didn't have the opportunity to post it. As a result, Jake and Hor-Hey commenced to waxing my ass royally on the golf course Saturday.

You know, I sometimes don’t understand the logic, or the lack thereof, of women. As hard as they try sometimes they just don’t make a bit of damn sense. Maybe that is why we love them so much: we can live each day to its fullest with the silent assurance that we are smarter than they are.

Yes. I know. I know. They have the pussy, so they make the rules. I know that. But that statement or that assumption doesn’t dictate logic or common sense in their dealings with us. Take this conversation with MQ I just had that, 15 minutes later, still has me completely confused.

I get this email from her that she had sent to a friend of hers and CC’d me. Here it is:
“OK - put that desk outside on your driveway tomorrow morning and I will have Quad swing by and pick it up after he finishes playing golf tomorrow morning (quad - the desk is that drawing desk we gave that used to have)”.

So I ask you, does this email make any sense and should I know what the f--- she is talking about? So I emailed her back:

“I have no idea what you are talking about. Call me to explain. Thanks.”

No I love you’s or anything. Just call me. For all of you young guns out there, this was one of those times where I just had to be dictatorial in my statement. Anyway, the phone rings. Here’s the conversation.

Quad: hello.
MQ: it’s that desk ***** used to have that had the side pocket for paper, the little tray on top for pencils and crayons, and had the light underneath it.
Quad: oh yeah. I remember.
MQ: well, we loaned it to ***** when she was younger and she doesn’t want it any more. So I asked her mom to put it by the road so that you can swing by and pick it up after golf tomorrow (NOTE: I have a Jake-O/Hor-Hey ass whipping scheduled for 0750 hours in the morning).
Quad: ok. Where do you want me to put it when I get home (NOTE: this is a good lesson for the newly married’s. you have to be as specific as possible in your questioning in order to get your wife to commit to a rock solid answer. Had I not asked this question, it would have been the wrong location regardless of where I put it.)
MQ: well, we don’t need it because The Future has that new desk. I was going to see if ***** wanted it. if she doesn’t want it, then we can just get rid of it.
This is where the conversation gets illogical.
Quad: so let me get this straight. You want me to go pick up a desk from someone else so that we can get rid of it.
MQ: yes.
Quad: that’s stupid. Just have them get rid of it.
MQ: how is SHE supposed to get rid of it?
Quad: is she married?
MQ: yes.
Quad: doesn’t her husband have a truck?
MQ: yes.
Quad: then she can have HIS ass take it to the dump. He can take it to the dump just as easily as I can. And I am NOT picking something up just so I can get rid of it.
MQ is silent. I can sense her mind churning. Then it happens.
MQ: that’s fine.
Oh shit. Hell is about to break loose. A man never wants to hear “that’s fine” from his wife.
Quad: do you understand my point?
MQ: yeah, I understand it. I’ll just tell ***** tonight just to go ahead and get rid of it.
Quad: OK. Sounds good. Thanks.
MQ: but I don’t know why you can’t just go pick it up. click.

Women. Illogical and always have to get the last word in.