Russian Race Horses: E-bone's Response

So I sent out the notifications about the E-bone posting, and I receive the following email from the Bone himself:

From: E-bone Sent: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 10:59 AMTo: Quad The Bod; Jake-O ; Hor-Hey; Dickie LeeSubject: RE: E-bone Stories: Russian Race Horses

Ok, I'll agree with you on the darts. The rest is all BS! You beat me because Vic throws 4 TDs? Lucky basterd, the most he ever had prior to Sunday was 2! And for those that were golfing we all know who started the Race Horse bit with, "I have to take a dump like a Russian Race Horse". To which my reply was, isn't that piss? Then everyone looks at me like I'm the crazy one.

See you in the playoffs brudda
E-Bone

So let’s break this email down to see if we can’t get to the “root” of E-bone’s issues.

“Ok, I'll agree with you on the darts. The rest is all BS!” Boner started out well, but reverted to the denial stage. First sign of alcoholism is DENIAL. So with this, we can prematurely diagnose E-Bone with alcoQUADism.

“You beat me because Vic throws 4 TDs?” this is a very interesting statement because I thought E WAS making a statement, but he ended the sentence with a question mark. So I am confused. BUT……isn’t that what a quarterback is supposed to do?

“Lucky basterd, the most he ever had prior to Sunday was 2!” We have a couple of things here. The alcoQUADism is affecting E’s brain cells because he blatantly mis-spelled “bastard.” But, that MAY be the spelling in Buffalo. I’ll have to check. Second, the alcoQUADism is REALLY getting to him because he has reverted to the whiny, won’t-take-responsibility stage. Plus, he has now started to blame items from the PAST for what has happened in the past.

“And for those that were golfing we all know who started the Race Horse bit with, "I have to take a dump like a Russian Race Horse". Just like Seinfeld, endless rambling about nothing. I am assuming he is referring to me taking a crap in the woods during our most recent golf outing, but I am not sure if he is talking about me or his friend Tom, who ALSO took a crap on a golf course while playing golf with E. hmmmm. I wonder……..does playing golf with E bring out the “worst” in people?

“To which my reply was, isn't that piss?” when used by itself, this sentence shows E-Bone’s deep seeded fascination with urinary water sports because this question could possibly be asked about anything of liquid format that catches the eye of Bone. It also reveals well hidden insecurities about proper or improper urination because of Bone’s inability to NOT wet the bed at night until he was well into his teens. These insecurities were often re-lived in role playing instances when E would allow former girlfriends to “relieve” themselves upon his bed, then he would pretend the girlfriend was his mommy and would run to her, begging her not to spank him and to help him change his clothes.

“Then everyone looks at me like I'm the crazy one.” Well, it’s not everyday we get to see, meet and talk to someone as fascinating as the Bone, baby. He’s the man.

“See you in the playoffs brudda
E-Bone” ahhh. I love people who have dreams. I hope he makes the playoffs just for sanity’s sake!