The Ironies of Marriage

I watched an interview with Donald Trump once, and he was asked about his marriage. He said he likes being married, but only if he doesn’t have to “work” at it. he said that if he has to “work” at his marriage, then it isn’t worth being married. What he was really saying is that people make marriage more difficult than it needs to be. And I agree with that. marriage shouldn’t be this massive struggle that just saps the energy right out of you every day.

But he didn’t speak of the great ironies of marriage. Hmmm. I wonder why.

Which brings me to this: why do women tell you one thing, then get pissed off when you do what they said you could do?

We all know of the story of MQ telling me that I could go fishing one time while we were at Nags Head. So I went, and returned about six or seven hours later to a pissed off wife.

Quad: why are you pissed? YOU said I could go fishing!
MQ: I didn’t say you could stay all day!
Quad: you didn’t specify a time limit. Besides, there can’t be a time limit when you go fishing!
MQ: why not?
Quad: because it goes against the laws of man and nature. Besides, I give you permission to bring me a damn beer, but yet I don’t bitch about how long it takes you.

Which brings me to a recent fishing trip with my father in law.

You heard the story. While not as great as the story of E “Rolan Martin” Bone’s striper story of late, we did catch some striper and a whole heard of blue catfish, one of which weighed well over 20lbs.

So by the time we got back, cleaned the fish, cleaned the boat and was done, it was already 4 o’clock or so. MQ didn’t bitch at all. She enjoyed me being gone because she was able to decorate the house. Plus, I had the future of Alabama Football with me: Pookie. So MQ had some “quiet” time. But my mother in law is a different story.

Instead of spending the day in relaxation, she decides that she will wash windows, knowing damn well that doing them from outside is next to impossible for her because of her knee replacement. But she did it anyway……then bitched like there was no tomorrow at my father in law because he went fishing and wasn’t there to help her, even though it was HER idea that we go!

Which brings me to a recent “discussion” I had with MQ.

I came home last Tuesday from work to find a big assed crock pot full of beans. Seems MQ was looking out after the Quad by taking some of the left over ham from thanksgiving to make some beans. I love beans. I don’t necessarily like the way they make me have heartburn, but I love them. So when I saw this, I talked to MQ about it.

Quad: what are these for?
MQ: I knew you liked them, so I thought I would make you some.
Quad: that’s great! You didn’t have to do that!
MQ: I know, but it was something I knew you liked.
Quad: I appreciate it, but listen. I’m going to eat some beans when they are done, but please don’t say anything about the “effect” they will have on me after I eat them!

Which of course was a statement said in vain because the first time quad busted one out after eating beans, MQ gets all pissed off!

Quad: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRAP!
MQ: why did you do that?
Quad: because I had to……..
MQ: hold it in!
Quad: I can’t……it hurts too much when I do.
MQ: then leave the room!
Quad: and get up off the couch? Bitch, please!!!!
MQ: well we shouldn’t have to suffer like this.
Quad: no suffering baby. Remember, Quad’s shit don’t stink!
MQ: yeah. Right.
Quad: you know it!

So here we have two examples of women creating great ironies within relationships, where none needed to be created! Problems arose because of these ironies, yet some how it was still our (men) fault. Which leaves me with a question for the Quad Kingdom:

Why do women do this?